I reckon it's so
by valentine24
Summary: "I do believe he cared just as much for his people as white folks does for therin. It doesn't seem natural, but I reckon it's so."


**Hi there! It's been a while since I last posted but here I am haha. This is my first Huck Finn fanfic so I hope ya'll enjoy it. Please read the disclaimer.**

**_Disclaimer: _****This fanfic does contain the word n****er as this takes place right after chapter 23. I wrote it here because I believe it fits the character and where he's at in his moral journey. If you believe you will feel uncomfortable in any way, I don't suggest reading this fic. **

**Thank you all and I hope you enjoy. **

I sat there in silence as the river gently rocked the raft. My arms hugged my knees, chin stiff in thought as my fingers toyed with the hem of my coat. Jim sat there slumping, hugging his knees and wiping the remaining tears that ran down his face. Brown eyes glistened almost as bright as his golden earring as he stared at the rising sun. It was strange seeing him this way. I've seen him mourning and moping, joyful and working, relaxed and smoking, but I ain't never seen him like this before. He ain't mourning, but he ain't happy. He's quiet, but he ain't relaxed. No, this look is different. This look is one Tom wears when he don't know what to do and ponderin' on what he could do. This is the look Judge Thatcher wears out in the mist twilight sittin' on his front porch with a pipe in hand. Unnatural, that's what this look is. Unnatural for a nigger like him to be wearing.

I stared back down into the water as I thought about it once more. Him caring so much for his kin seemed unnatural too, but I reckon it's so. Guess that means the same for this look too.

"I knows ya people feels pain. I seen it all the time at the wider's place. The songs ya sing, the whips ya get, I understand pain when I see it"

The glistening of his eyes disappeared as he looked towards me. Didn't say nothing, and I took that as my pass to speak.

"When I was a littler, Tom and I, well, we used to sneak out to Jackson Island when we's given the chance. Playing robin hood and what not. Having a grand ol' time."

"One time we was playing pirates out and about, near some fallen logs. Tom had the bright idea to jump on one of them logs and continue our fighting there. So I jumped too and as we got closer to one another, our footing went off and bam! Down we fell, off the log and into the nearby lake."

"The lake weren't too deep and we's got up just fine. But then we hears a voice sayin' '_are ya two alright?'. _ Boy, did that make us jump Jim! Why we thought we's were hearing spirits! But when we look up we sees it were no spirit, but a boy. A scrawny lookin' boy with trousers and a patched up shirt. Well, we were so surprised to see a nigger our age all the way out here we didn't know what to do! Just sat there like two fish outta water."

"Tom was the first outta his trance and asked who the boy was. Said his name was Nadir or somethin', so we called him Nad."

Jim cupped his cheek as he tilted his head curiously. I sat up straighter and I continued.

"He begged us not to tell no one 'bout his hiding spot, went down on his knees and all! Tom pulled me aside and says how this was our chance to be real pirates now. Says pirates always kidnapped a body and made them do their bidding and whatnot. I didn't know what we'd make 'im do though, being on Jackson Island and all, but Tom didn't pay no mind. Said it was part of the '_adventure' _of it."

"Tom then made himself a deal with 'im and we promised ta keep his secret. You should've seen the look on his face Jim. Nad was so grateful and happy, he practically kissed the ground we walked on. I's never felt as royal as I did there."

A smile formed on my face as I recalled the sweet memories. "Ha...we used to play many games with Nad. A good fellow that Nad was. He even showed us secret hideouts we's never seen on Jackson Island! Tom and I never admitted to it...but we grew fond of the fellow. Tom even started to bring him food freshly made by Aunt Polly. And me, I's began to show him my hidden treasures. Even gave some away to keep 'im company when we left."

I swallowed as I felt myself frowning. My eyes drifted from Jim to the wood and I played with the splinters that poked out from underneath my legs. "By the third week we's been so used to Nad's company that we've been going to Jackson Island almost every day. We looked forward to play with 'im, and even planned out what we's gonna do each day. Tom brought more food and I, well, I brought what I could."

"On this particular day, Tom brought a piece of a cranberry-cherry cobbler pie and stuffed it right into his pocket. And oh what a wonderful smell it had Jim, came straight from the oven! Made my mouth water the whole trip down. Tom was mighty excited to give 'im the piece too, says it was one of Aunt Polly's specialty's."

"Once we got on the island we called out for his name but got no answer. We thought he might've been in one of his hideouts or out fishing, so we went on looking for 'im. But we couldn't find 'im, Jim."

"Night was approaching us and we soon were about to give up and call it a day. Before we could leave though, I thought I saw somethin' glimmer from the rays of the settin' sun. I called out to Tom and I followed it. I saw a handle and what appeared to be a long knife, rest of it hidin' in the bush. Tom and I looked at one another... and I knew right then... somethin' awful happened to poor Nad."

I paused, realizing my voice began to tremble. I didn't need to look up at Jim to feel his gaze upon me. I grabbed my knees in hopes to steady my beatin' heart and quivering lip. We sat in silence for a while, the song of the early birds being our only source of noise. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath before sittin' up straight again.

"...Lying down right there was a long, sharp, woodcutter—sturdy and strong. A fine tool to cut down one of them big trees...And right next to it was poor young Nadir. He was cut head to toe...I could no longer see the face I grew accustomed to. No...it was a bloody mess Jim, a bloody mess...I saw things I never hoped to see again nor wish upon anybody."

"...Tom and I didn't say anything, we just stood and stared. We walked back to the raft in silence—none of us daring to glance back or even to each other. When we made it back home, Tom was the first to speak. He said, '_It was bound to happen Hucky...a pirates captive can only live for so long, especially if that captive was a nigger...you know that.'_"

"He kept his gaze down, hands in pockets before pulling out that cranberry-cherry cobbler and handin' it to me. Muttered about how he hoped I liked it or somethin' and walked off. I stood there with the pie in hand, all squashed and gooey. It felt cold and the scent no longer made my lips water."

"I stood there for a long while—so much so that the sticky cranberry juice began to drip off my hand. I couldn't help but feel guilty if I ate it Jim, didn't feel right to me. So I ignored my pleading stomach and walked to the nearest tree I could find. It was an eastern wahoo tree, pink buds barely bloomin', and I set the pie down. I dug a hole that was big enough for the piece and placed it there, burying it up."

"I didn't know what overcame me or what I was doing to be quite frank, Jim. I just did it."

I took in another breath, "I knew Tom was right, it was bound to happen. That's just how life is."

I looked up at Jim, and the moment I did, I regretted it instantly. My heart quickened and my lips trembled once more. All those emotions I swore to never have, that I hid and locked away, came rushing out. My unsaid agony and silent frustrations engulfed my entire body, bubbling out from wherever they've been for so long. I've never seen his eyes look so hard and so loving at the same time. I couldn't stop myself, and before I knew it, Jim's strong arms wrapped around my body. I sobbed and mourned, my wailing only getting louder and louder. Allowing myself this pain to unfold within the light cotton of his shirt. I wouldn't have been surprised if the duke and king woke up right then and there.

Jim gently caressed my back, shushing and whispering words like "_honey"_ into my ear. It was soothin' and calmed me down some. My breathing slowed and my tears dried. I stayed in his arms a little while longer, wonderin' if he could feel the old scars that marked my back. After another deep breath, I sat up, wiping away the remain' tears that traced my cheeks.

With a sniff and a wipe, I looked back up at Jim. "Like I said...I know ya'll feel pain and I knew Nad was no exception. It's natural, I reckon."

"But now I wonder...did he have a ma or a pa who was missin' 'im? A brother or a sister who loved him so?"

I look back towards the blue river, "Ya see Jim, I never thought about love. Never thought about him loving his people, or his people loving him, like us white folk do. Didn't feel natural. But listening to your stories and listening to your cries, I reckoned it's so."

"...And I wonder how much pain they must be in right now."

It was silent once more and I decided to close my eyes for a bit. The breeze caressed my damp skin and the scent of fresh grass filled my nostrils. I flinched when I felt a hand touch my shoulder, but I didn't move. I sat there and waited, watching Jim.

"Huck, do you have family back home?"

I almost laughed, what a silly question that is, I thought. But as I opened my mouth to respond, nothin' came out. I blinked and I paused as I thought to myself '_do I have a family'?_ The only kin I have by blood now was Pap, but he for sure ain't waiting for me back home. What about the widow? She took me in and cared for me, that's family ain't it? I doubt Miss Watson is waiting for me though, but the widow did take me in cause she felt awfully sorry for me. But is that family?

I was flabbergasted, guess I don't know much about love and family as I thought I did. "I...I don't know Jim."

Jim rubbed my back once more and brought me in for a hug. It was my turn to then stroke his back. I bit my tongue once I did, as I felt all the scars that carved into his spine. And it made me wonder how any nigger could feel any love.

"That's gonna change Huck, that is gonna change. Ol' Jim here promises."

I weren't too sure what he meant, but I didn't care. I tightened my grip around him once more before I pulled away. The sun was high up and shined bright now and I knew the duke and king would be up any minute. I noticed a speck of movement in the water and I smiled.

"Hey Jim"

"Yes, Huck?"

"Would ya like to go fishin'?"

He smiled, eye's glimmering once again. "I would love to."

And fishing we did.


End file.
